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You’re hooked on Elder Scrolls and Metal Gear but now you’ve discovered an even bigger obsession: the new girl who just moved in down the hall. Geeks of all ages will find answers to the ultimate questions of life, the universe, and everything romantic, from First Contact to The Fellowship of the Ring and beyond.

Full of whimsical 8-bit illustrations, The Geek’s Guide to Dating will teach fanboys everywhere to love long and prosper.

"I equate online dating to looking for a job," says Julie Spira, cyber-dating expert and author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating.

"You'd want a rock star résumé for your perfect dream job, and you should feel the same way about your online dating profile." And the profile is just where it starts—we have plenty of expert tips, from sending the perfect first e-mail to picking your first date location.

Confusingly, if you do eventually make it a one-on-one thing, that's also known as "dating," so for my purposes here today, that'll be known as Dating, or DATING if things get really serious.

People can hit it off from the get-go, and the first time a future couple hangs out might be a laugh riot, culminating in a whisky-soaked conversation at 5 a.m. On the other end of the spectrum, one party might set their hair on fire half-way through the date (I have done this).

He’s written for the Philadelphia Inquirer, Philadelphia Weekly, and

Learn how to meet people in the real world and connect off-line for a change.

You may even level up to a romance worthy of an RPG!

I realize that my past experiences have made me who I am today, but I still wish I could go back in time and have a sisterly chat with poor, clueless, "younger me."I could've written three novels, started a business and hiked the Appalachian Trail with all the wasted time and energy.

It's too late for me, but maybe you can learn from what I wish I knew then.1.

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